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Monday 6 June 2016

Last Thoughts

So it's been a while since I've been here. As I traveled I found that I had less time to write and it became a chore. I thought I would come back to it and write in retrospect as I did last year. I enjoyed remembering my previous adventures and it was nice to see how far I had come.  However time has moved on as it does and I find that I have no inclination to continue with my blog as it is. So this will be my last post to Plan C.

I did go back to the temples and see Angor Wat as the sun rose though it was so misty I'm still not sure exactly where to sun was. I loved Cambodia and from there I revisited Australia, played tourist in New Zealand and then back to Australia where I finally made it to Tasmania. I used my credit cards to get to the Philippines and from there I traveled to Vietnam and back to Thailand. On the 31st of March 2016 I landed in London and so ended my life as a restless wanderer. I may go back one day and write up these trips but if I do it will be in a different place.

Before I go I'd like to share some last thoughts with you.

I'll start with the 'D' word.... Dating. I've never blogged about dating not because I haven't tried it but because it involves other people and I feel it is wrong to talk about them online. Also it turns out I'm not so good at it and no one likes talking about the things they're bad at! I am sure as I bring this blog and chapter of my life to a close many of you would love to hear about a fairy-tail ending where I met someone and we are now off to live happily ever after. This is definitely not the case.

I date, sort of. For those who know me it won't come as a surprise to find out I am terrible at it. I am picky with a stupidly short attention span. Not one single person I've attempted to date has become a friend, not even on facebook, so I joke about being a crazy cat lady. Of course I don't talk about dating so it is unsurprising that some (most?) people may get the wrong impression. I am not a modern day Miss Havisham. I don't hold up every guy to a perfect version of Josh that I have in my head (to this day I enjoy remembering his faults as much as his virtues) and find them wanting. I will always love him but the person I have become is not in love with him as the person I was used to be. In the end it's come down to one thing, time.

In the early days I was grieved and it took time. Then I wanted to get to know who I was as a single person, and that took time. Finally I thought I might settle in New Zealand and tried out dating but then it turned out there wasn't time. With my busy schedule I never met anyone who I wanted to spend time with more than my friends. Remember that picky short attention span? I have hobbies and interests and friends which filled my life and the few men who were foolish enough to be interested in me just couldn't compete. Then I knew I was leaving and I really didn't see the point in trying to make time. I'm not denying that it would be nice to meet someone who shares my interests but then considering how often they change that might be difficult! I'm not giving up looking but I'm happy as I am so I'm not in a hurry, besides once again life is about to get busy.

There might bot be a knight in shining armour but there is a happy ending, or should that be beginning? I'm not only back in the UK, I'm back where I started this chapter in 2009. The city where life as I knew it ended might just be the the place to give me a brand new life. I'm a different person and life has taken me many wonderful places and now I'm ready for the next chapter. I've recently been offered a position as a travel consultant with a great company. My love of travel will hopefully lead me to an interesting and fulfilling career which will at the same time allow me to continue to indulge in my own passion for travel, though on a much smaller scale than previously. Who knows I may even start an actual travel blog one day. None of us knows what the future will bring but many of us know that we should make the most of what we have while we have it. I think it's fair to say I have done that and more since Monday, 19 July 2010 when I wrote my very first post.

Plan C has been amazing and I cannot thank you enough for sharing it with me. Your comments and encouragement gave me courage when mine faltered. It's been an honor sharing my journey from lost and grieving traveling widow to world exploring travel addict. Some posts have been a pleasure and some have been hard to write but they all helped me in their own way. I will finish up on this:

I am grateful for Jonathan. For everything he taught me, all he gave to me and all that he was.
I am grateful for his friends and family who have gone way way beyond any and all expectations to help and support me on this journey.
I am grateful for every person I have met along the way.
I am especially grateful for my own family and their unfailing support and love.
Mostly though I am grateful for my future whatever it may bring.

And as always, now life goes on xxx