The Phoenix: Then and now

Back in 2010 when my grief was still newish and rawish but when I was starting to find my way in my new and uncomfortably strange life I wrote this in a moment of hope:

Phoenix

I am the phoenix and this is my fire.
All that I was has gone forever.
All that I shall be is formed in this,

Burning instant, that lasts a thousand years.

You treat me like medusa,
As if my eyes so full of pain and sorrow,
Could turn you into stone.

I felt like Icarus of myth,
My happiness and joy not wings but wax,

Were torn away, leaving me to fall.

Now I know I am the phoenix.

Because of love so true,

That it can never die.

Love will give me wings,
And lift me up once more.
One day I won't just rise again,
One day I will soar.

Now almost three years later I am living a life more different than anyone could have imagined and recently I wrote this:

Risen

Risen like the phoenix from the flames

I soar above it all

Riding the thermals of my adventures

Getting high on life

There’s tragedy in my past I know

The future’s still unclear.

The present, a gift I try to treasure,

Live life as best I can

Living as if tomorrow will never come,

As if I can have it all.

Living as if the day is never ending,

This moment all there is

I hope it shows that my fleeting hope became my new-new life so thought I'd share since there is a distinct lack of adventure and soaring to write about at the moment. Sticking with the metaphor I have decided to think of this current interlude as cruising along at high altitude until I catch that next thermal.