Saturday, 17 November 2012

The Phoenix: Then and now

Back in 2010 when my grief was still newish and rawish but when I was starting to find my way in my new and uncomfortably strange life I wrote this in a moment of hope:


I am the phoenix and this is my fire.
All that I was has gone forever.
All that I shall be is formed in this,
Burning instant, that lasts a thousand years.

You treat me like medusa,
As if my eyes so full of pain and sorrow,
Could turn you into stone.

I felt like Icarus of myth,
My happiness and joy not wings but wax,
Were torn away, leaving me to fall.

Now I know I am the phoenix.
Because of love so true,
That it can never die.

Love will give me wings,
And lift me up once more.
One day I won't just rise again,
One day I will soar.

Now almost three years later I am living a life more different than anyone could have imagined and recently I wrote this:


Risen like the phoenix from the flames
I soar above it all
Riding the thermals of my adventures
Getting high on life

There’s tragedy in my past I know
The future’s still unclear.
The present, a gift I try to treasure,
Live life as best I can

Living as if tomorrow will never come,
As if I can have it all.
Living as if the day is never ending,
This moment all there is

I hope it shows that my fleeting hope became my new-new life so thought I'd share since there is a distinct lack of adventure and soaring to write about at the moment. Sticking with the metaphor I have decided to think of this current interlude as cruising along at high altitude until I catch that next thermal.

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