Inspirational People

There have been times in my life over the last few years when I have been called an inspiration and every time someone says such a thing it grates on my nerves something awful. I’m sorry I know people mean well but I cannot help but feel like a bit of a fraud and I feel really uncomfortable with the label. I want to say that I’m not because I am just putting one foot in front of the other but I can’t tell people what they feel anymore than I can change the way I feel. The thing is the people that say this, I wonder if they really know me. Sure they hear the good stuff but it’s not like I’m going to shout about the bad things I do because you don’t do you? I mean who wants to admit they aren’t always a good daughter, sister or friend? Who wants to hear about the times I spend in my room hiding because sometimes the world is too hard and too much for me to handle. The fact is that even though I might not say these things I’m pretty sure most people have figured them out by now. Like everyone else on this planet I am far from perfect and I am sometimes selfish. Quitting a perfectly good job and taking myself of to Australia may be admirable but it is without a doubt the most selfish thing I have ever done. So before I go and this become all about me again I wanted to take time to tell you all about the people who inspire me.

I am a very fortunate person. I have had a very horrible thing happen to me but large and horrific as it was it was one thing. When I lost my partner I felt like I lost everything and people who have been through such a loss will confirm that I am not being melodramatic or exaggerating when I say that it felt like I died when he did. I couldn’t see how much I had left and what it was worth because without him everything seemed worthless. It was like someone had taken my nicely ordered working life and smashed it into a million pieces which could never be put together again. I know how hard must that have been for the people in my life to see because eventually I saw it in the people I cared about too and it hurts that I can’t do anything to change it. In the beginning though I was numb and felt completely disconnected from everything and everyone around me yet my friends and family stood by me because it would never occur to them to do anything else.

The people who inspire me are the friends who called me and asked me how I really was. The friends who took me in and the friends who took me out (and often got me drunk). The one friend who came and got me and took me away from my life for a few days when I didn’t think that I could move. The people who took the time to send me text messages, bebo comments, cards and even baked goods through the post just to remind me that they cared. The friends who met up with me and even though it went horribly at times met me again and kept on trying until we got it right. My family and his who only asked one thing of me, that I live: nothing more and nothing less. For the times they fed me and poured many cups of tea into me. The friends who held me when I cried. The ones who took abuse when I had nowhere else to direct it and only asked when I was done if there was anything they could do. I can’t count the number of people who have held my hand in one way or another. There are people in my life who know this path but this is for the ones who don’t.

The people in my life who have no idea and tried to help me anyway in any way they could. I know they hurt to see me hurt, most had hurting of their own to do but took on some of mine anyway. When I think of all the little things that people did it makes me cry with wonder. I feel blessed and I have no idea what I ever did to deserve such people in my life but I am grateful. For all these people I can say without hesitation or regret I am grateful to have you in my life. You all inspire me to keep on going. Never underestimate what you have done for me because when you lose your rock and anchor every single person and every single gesture counts more than I hope any of you will ever know. My life is completely different from what it was. There is a rather large and obvious piece missing from the puzzle these days and the pieces that were left don’t seem to fit so well but the fact is they do fit and they make up a new life that in its own way seems to work. So thank you to all my friends and family for being there and inspiring me to put the pieces together to make that new life.

As to the ones who have travelled a similar path now it’s your turn. For the replies to my posts, the facebook messages, the ‘likes’ and the hugs, for simply being there and reassuring me that yes you felt that too and you know in all those different ways I thank you too. More than that you have shared your stories with me. You have shown me that there is life 'after' and that it can be good again. You have reassured me that I will always miss him and that's ok but there will be more to life as well. To see how far you have, to see you stumble still yet pick yourselves up and carry on, that is inspirational too.

For all my friends from before and after I thank you and remind you that if I inspire you then you are probably inspiring me right back.

Charlottesville, VA

As you can imagine my trip to Charlottesville has been a lot different from my Washington visit. My train journey from Washington to Charlottesville was pleasant and on time and I was met at Charlottesville station by my cousin-in-law and her son, a very cute one year old. A quick drive to the hospital and we met up with my cousin whom I hadn’t seen in over 2 years. We squeezed in a quick coffee break then it was back to work for my cousin and on to the apartment for me and his wife and son.

On the way to my cousin;s apartment I was able to see some of Charlottesville and it looks like a fabulous place to raise a family, I can see why they’ve settled here. I spent Thursday with my cousin-in-law and her son. We went to the local mall and visited some well known American stores as well as some local ones which provided me with some excellent Christmas presents. Friday was a quieter day spent organising the rest of my trip, buses and flights were booked along with the rest of my hostels. All I need to do now is figure out how I will amuse myself once I reach my various destinations!

Unfortunately I manage to visit on one of the few weekends that my cousin-in-law had to work so it was up to my cousin and his son to provide the entertainment over the weekend, and boy did they keep me on my toes. On the Saturday we visited Sam’s Club (which as far as I can tell is the USA version of Costco) and toys r us to pick up some treats for the little one, though I suspect the ‘grown-ups’ were more amused than him most of the time! In the afternoon we visited my first ever vineyard and I had my first experience wine tasting, my advice to anyone trying this is don’t go on a weekend. The Veritas vineyard was really busy and though we got a seat fairly quickly the actual tasting took some time due to the volume of people in the tasting room. Still is was fun to watch the little one keep his daddy on his toes while we waited and the wine was rather tasty; so tasty in fact I bought a couple of bottles to take back to my cousins apartment. Once home it was time for my cousin to feed and bath his little one whilst I slaved over the remote control. Then when my cousin-in-law arrived home it was time for a relaxing meal and evening in front of the tv, bliss after a rather hectic day.

The next day we headed for  Blue Mountain Brewery and I thought I would be adventurous and try a tasting here too. I have never been a beer or larger fan so imagine my surprise when I discovered a fondness for their Dark Hollow stout! I’m not sure I could drink a whole pint but it was a pleasant surprise, possibly helped along by the fact the stout is aged in bourbon barrels. I was also introduced to Pulled Pork, a southern speciality apparently and a rather tasty one it turns out. After the brewery it was off to another vineyard. The King’s Family vineyard was smaller and much quieter than the Veritas vineyard, possibly as we arrived earlier in the day this time. We were attended to at the bar and each wine was carefully described to us before the tasting. It was a calmer and more relaxed atmosphere and once more I was tempted to purchase a bottle for later as I have to confess a preference for their Cabernet Franc. Post wine tasting it was back into town for a quick visit to the heart of the University of Virginia, the Rotunda and Lawn. This area was designed by Thomas Jefferson himself and there is great prestige attached to the student dormitories and professors houses surrounding the lawn which are still in use today. In the evening I was introduced to a couple of my cousins friends and American Football. I think I got the general idea but there are so many rules that even the Americans have trouble keeping up sometimes so I don’t feel so bad that I’m still a little confused about it. A bottle of Veritas wine accompanied the football and then it was time for a full Sunday roast dinner, a real treat I wasn’t expecting on my travels in through the States.

My last day was fairly quiet as I had to sort out my belongings and prepare myself for my upcoming bus journey and the next part of my mini tour. I did manage to fit in lunch with my cousin-in-law and her friend at the downtown mall. In the Charlottesville downtown mall there aren't any chain stores so all the restaurants and shops are independents which makes for a much more interesting mix than your usual mall. After our brief shopping trip it was back to the apartment to get some food and collect my belonging before heading to the bus station. And so ended my brief insight in to life living and working in America. As I said at the start a different type of adventure but just as exciting and fun in its own way as the first one. I’m not sure what Nashville will bring but I for one cannot wait to find out.