Recently I’ve come to the conclusion that we never stop
grieving and I don’t think we should. Now don’t get me wrong I’m not suggesting
that all widows should hang about their houses like Miss Haversham but I think
that grief can be incorporated into who I am now and into the life I now live.
I believe the best tribute I can give Jonathan is too live my life as well as I
can. I no longer spend every second of the day thinking of him and wishing he
were still here. Most days I think of him from time to time but as the next
‘anniversary’ date approached he has obviously been in my thoughts more and no
matter how much time passes he will always have been taken from us too soon and
it will never be fair.
Therefore I think that it’s healthy to take time out of my
life every now and then and just grieve. I feel it is right for me to
occasionally dedicate time to remember how it was and be sad that it is no
more. I still miss Jonathan. I still love him and I doubt I will ever stop and
it hurts that he is not here to
receive and return that love. I need to take the time out to acknowledge this
so I can spend the rest of my time living and loving my new life as well as I
can.
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