Thoughts from the Farm

I’ve heard it said often but now it’s my turn to say it. It’s so unfair that often it’s when life is going well that we miss our loved ones the most. We wouldn’t wish the sad and difficult times on them but when all is good in the world once more and life is going well then you sit back and think if only they were here, they would bloody love this. I’ve no idea what Josh thought we would do in Australia as we never got as far as discussing it as we were too busy arguing about whether we should come here (him) or go to Cuba (me) first! We would probably have toured around a little, spent some time on the beaches and relaxed as we would only have been able to come over for 3-4 weeks. Working in a carnival or on a farm would never have occurred to us nor would it have been a sensible thing for us to do at that time in our lives which is sad because he would have had a blast. It is perhaps just as well that he is not here on the farm as I know he would quickly become attached to all the animals and be really sad when he had to leave them behind, he had such a soft heart.

Yet even though I am missing him more today than any other day these feeling don’t paralyse me the way they once did. I am able to get out of bed and face breakfast. I am ready to start my day, to pick and pack fruit and earn my keep. I’m not dreading having to go to work and though I’m not sure what kind of company I shall be today I’m not incapable of dealing with people the way I was even a year ago. Hard as it is to admit it the clichés are true. Time does heal. It does get easier to live with the loss. The pain never goes away but you can make it a part of you and learn how to incorporate it in to your life so it no longer paralyses you. Still even though I know all this all I can really think is: I wish he were here, he would bloody love it.