Friday, 3 July 2015

March 2015

Since I was by now completely hooked on ceroc I thought maybe it was time to try yet another kind of dance. So a week after saying goodbye to big brother and his wife I had my very first west coast swing class. It was a much smaller class than I was used to; in fact it was even smaller than the salsa ones I had attended the previous year. The people were welcoming though and soon I was havng great fun learning the west coast swing basic moves.

My return to work was a little nerve racking as I was afraid I would have forgotten everything but soon it was like I was never away. Well except for the being much less stressed and starting to count down to my next adventure. One thing had become extremely clear to me whilst travelling the south Island. I miss backpacking. It is probably not much of a surprise that March had barely begun and I was back online looking at plane tickets. Thanks to my favourite site I soon had a flight to Kuala Lumpur booked for the day before my NZ visa was due to finish.

The rest of the month was pretty much the same, work, west coast swing, ceroc and seeing my friends whenever I could. As happy as I was to be planning my travels it was starting to sink in that soon I would have to leave a lot of lovely people behind when I went.

There was one notable sad event. On the 13th of March my favourite author Sir Terry Pratchett sadly passed away. His books have had a massive impact on my life and I was greatly saddened when he announced his Alzheimer’s. I am happy he was able to keep writing up until the end but my thoughts were with his family that day. They had the flip side of my situation. They had the years together the life and the warning and all the hardships that came with it that I know nothing about. That said the loss is the same. I know there will always be a hole in their lives forever more, which leads me to the final subject of this post.

In March there is one day that is always remembered and always observed. The 17th: St Paddy’s day as people love to remind me, not knowing I will never forget. The 17th: the anniversary of my world imploding and the loss of our wonderful Jonathan. The day was spent quietly with my memories of our happy times. I met a friend for drinks and she had loads to tell me about her new girlfriend. Hearing how happy she was and seeing the love on her face as she talked was exactly what I needed. The one thing I wish for my loved ones is that they find what Jonathan and I shared and I do believe that this friend has found her version of that.  After the catch up it was time to go home and have my inevitable moment of sadness because after all these years there is one fact that has not and will never change. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that I get to live this amazing life and meet amazing people and he isn’t here. It’s not fair that our friends and family are getting married and having kids and he never will, he doesn’t even get a dog. I could go on but I won’t it’s not fair but it is life. Life is rarely fair but it does go on and as much as it has treated my unfairly and badly in the past I’m not sure I’ve done anything to deserve the amazing things that have happned any more than I didn’t deserve the bad.  So at the end of the day I let it all go and went to sleep. The next day life, as always, went on.

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